Spend All You're Time Waiting
by Heartaches and Cheap Wine
Summary: Stubornness isnt always a good thing. Read and Review Please! I return the favour!


**Warnings: **Mention of Character Death.

**Disclaimer:** Anything You recognise i dont own. Kripke Owns the Boys and Saving Jane Owns the song, I'm just playing.

**A/N:** OKay, reviews please? Any Reviews given are returned and with hugs or Cookies, State You're preference =

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Spend All Your Time Waiting For That Second Chance.

_Tragic, confusing when you slam the door  
I've never lost someone like you before  
And let you go softly not even a sound  
Hoping that someday you'd come back around_

Freya sat on the edge of the couch as Sam told her everything and gave her the amulet. She just sat there. She daren't move, daren't breathe.

Sam lent over and hugged her to him. She smiled up at him as Bobby knocked softly on the door before coming in. He smiled at them both and she knew he had to go. Sam slowly stood up and kissed her head before leaving her sitting on the sofa.

That was not the first Winchester to leave her. She smiled sadly as the first tear fell. Then the second. Then the third. Hugging her knees to her chest, Freya lent to the side and sobbed hard. Clutching his amulet to her, she raced into her bedroom and over to the bed and held onto the pillow at what was his side of the bed.

She cursed herself mentally. The fight they had before he left was their worst. A few choice phrases on both parts and he walked out the door. She had waited. The minutes turned to hours, the hours turned to days, the days to weeks, weeks to months and months to years.

Freya, however, had still waited. Left the porch light on every night. Her friends had told her to move on, that he wasn't worth the wait. That he wasn't going to come back to her. But Freya was determined. She loved him. She would wait for him no matter how long it took. The tears fell onto his pillow as they left damp trials along her cheeks, leaving a salty taste on her lips.

_Cause I miss your sandpaper face against mine  
The way you get impatient waiting in line  
It doesn't matter if we don't agree  
I like you even when you don't like me_

_And I'm lost when you're away  
Lost, fade into gray_

When he was here, the little voice in her head reminded her, he would have made everything better. He would have kissed everything better, quite literally. They would argue and storm off. He would go to some random bar and she would come here. To their room, and cry.

Not long later, Dean would reappear and ease in behind her, turn her face to him then proceed to kiss away the tears, that, more often then not, would be due to things he'd said and done rather than her own guilt at receiving that heart breaking stare he would give her.

.His stubble would brush against her cheek as he would hold her close to him. Usually, she hated stubble, but it was part of him and it was somehow comforting. He smelled like the night, like fire and smoke and death.

Freya would turn into him then, her eyes pressed tightly closed and she would snuggle into his chest, his amulet making an indent into her jaw.

Like it was doing now. The mask pressing tightly into her jaw. So tight it almost drew blood. The breeze drew across the room making her shiver. Two whole years. You would think she was used to it by now but no. Freya sat up realising that there was only three things she properly had to remind her of him.

One even he didn't know about. Something she had kept. Sometimes she wondered if he knew. If it would have changed the way things were.

_Captive to words that I wish I could say  
I never imagined I'd crumble this way  
Somehow I thought this was where I belonged  
Don't leave me wondering if I was wrong_

Wiping her eyes, Freya made her way through into the small sitting room, clearing up the mess. Dusting, sweeping, washing, cleaning, anything to keep her mind off of him.

It was late anyway. She would have to go to bed soon. And he of course would visit her in her dreams, or nightmares whichever her soul felt right for her at that particular moment.

Freya pulled back the covers and glanced at his side of the bed, the crumpled space where her body had previously lain. She so desperately wanted to see him again, to hear him laugh, for him to kiss away her tears; tears that he had forced, just to simply hold her.

However, the rational part of her brain couldn't handle him leaving her again. She closed her eyes and sighed as she felt sleep pulling at her, dragging her under until she could no longer fight it.

Dean cradled her in his arms as he gently shushed her. He wanted to take this pain away from her so badly, wanted her to know that he didn't blame her and would always be here with her.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry and he loved her but he was too late. He had stormed out over a stupid argument, his stubbornness keeping him away. She was so fragile in his arms.

Dean was alarmed he could feel her as he thought spirits couldn't touch anything, couldn't hold anything, well not properly anyway. But he could feel her as she clung onto him, feel the dampness of her tears as they discoloured his shirt, feel her violent sobs as she begged him not to leave her again.

He bit hard on his lip in an attempt to keep his own pleads and tears to himself. She raised her deep blue eyes to his green ones, confusion and tears masking the true shine of her massive depths.

Dean placed a tender kiss on her forehead before trailing it down her face and onto her lips. Her hands instinctively wound through his short brown hair, pulling her too him, an action that really did speak louder than words.

An action that screamed she loved him that she was his and he was hers. An action that begged him not to leave her. As, with Dean, actions meant more than the pretty words that poured form peoples' mouths without a second thought.

His lips hovered inches from her own as he breathed her in. blue eyes met green once more and he spoke, "I love you. Always have always will and I'm sorry for everything. For leaving, for coming back. For hurting you." his voice was thick but even.

She opened her mouth to speak but his finger rested lightly on her lips and her gaze settled back onto his as he continued, "you're going to wake up soon and we both know I'm not going to be there. But I want you to remember that with me there or not you have to get up and get on with it. Like you have been doing for two years." he finished with a soft kiss on her lips and she closed her eyes.

_Cause I'm lost when you're away  
Lost, fade into gray (Lost in the night, in the absence of light)_

Freya's arm moved across the bed where he had been, only to find it empty but warm. His taste still on her lips, his caress still on her jaw, his scent still lingered in the air and she smiled as the tears fell again. But she closed her eyes and willed the sadness away. He had come home to her after all.

A loud knock at the door made Freya jump. She grabbed her robe and made her way down the hall. She opened the door to the most brilliant green eyes staring back at her.

Shock engulfed her until her senses pulled her back into reality and she reached out for the person at the door. Kelly, her best friend, handed over the little boy to his mother and followed Freya down the hall and into the tiny sitting room.

The little boy had found the black cord and was pulling at it and examining it cautiously. She grinned at him and sat down. Kelly noticed and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Where mummy get?" the little boy asked as he lifted the amulet to indicate what he was talking about.

Freya blinked back the tears. "This," she wrapped her fingers around his small fist, "This was You're daddies and he was a hero and loved you very much." she smiled as a tear ran down her cheek and the little boy nodded.

"Daddy." he whispered and Freya nodded. She held onto her son as Kelly ran a hand up and down her back. She knew she had lost her way but this little boy would keep her right.

Freya smiled at the picture on the wall of her and Dean in some bar in whatever state he was in and smiled. She loved him and made mistakes but the two year old on her lap wasn't one of them, and when she looked at him she would hope that the kid would grow up to be just like his father.

A man who gave his life for his family. A hero.

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Like it? Hate it? If You Dont Review you're going to be stuck with dross like this. You know what you have to do. =


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